kenak salah...

ari tok buat sekian kali yg x dapat di itong lagik aku kenak blame atas benda aku x polah.same old story,same old person.do the things that i didn't do and yet i got the blame.nang endak alah2.kenak sidak x mok soal org nok molah ya pun ooo?..aku juak yg jd tukang jawap.kadang2 pedap juak.sabar lok,cun2 time kelak aku x kan menjawap bagi pihak lain gik.. :)

keajaiban

sometime miracle happen to people..well, i'm still waiting for my miracle..i don't know if it is around the corner or far in the future.i know that miracle does happen.all i have to do now is pray,go with my life and wait for it to happen..i believe that what ALLAH have in store for me is the best for me and I'm grateful for what HE had give to me till this day.

long time no see(This is a long post)

hey,blog..long time no see.i'm not doing well this few month.not physically but mentally and heart wise.yeah,it's been rough.meet a girl,i did try to,you know,to get to know her,her life,and whatever.but she seems not interested.yeah,i know how i look.i just play ball,dude.i guess it didn't work out like in the movies.ahaha.poor me,right?.then i meet another girl,i did talk to her.try to getting to know her and all that.still nothing.like the saying goes,nak seribu daya,tak nak seribu dalih.guess i did see her 1001 dalih.ahaha..well,gonna try again.oh where oh where is my soul mate,my left rib bone are.i miss her,i need her man..it is the end of 2012 as you know it,i'm still alive,and for that i say alhamdulillah.i still don't understand it,man.being straight forward is not a good idea.it seems like a good idea in theory.but in reality,it isn't.guess i really pushing it huh.yeah,i guess i'm to blame for being straight forward.guess it's like forcing someone to accept my love huh.well,i did try to be patient and take my time and it still amount to nothing.the girl got herself a bf and i'm stuck in a friend zone,then she broke up with her bf and after a few month i tell her i like her alot,like alot and still fail.what?this story again?yeah.i'm still bitter,man.yeah,i know i sound weak.but it is what it is.met another girl in november.i gather my courage to talk to her.everything going smoothly(so i thought).i got her fb.chat with her,and the funny thing is she call me a "BRO".dude,it was like a sign that say,"kmk angap ktk mcm BRO kmk,noktah".that what i read from it.tell me if i'm wrong.tell me if i should keep on fighting.tell me if i'm suppose to not give up,man.haha,look at me.here i'm two in the morning talking to myself  and writing this in here trying to get some sort of sage advice from a blog..ahaha.this is just great(effect terlebih minum kopi).soooo,tell me if there is a girl reader of this blog,what does it mean when a girl is calling a guy "BRO"?..is it a sign saying "stay away from me,i'm not intrested at the momment,and there is someone that i like and i wish u would stop while u are not in to deep with me" or is it a sign that say"let's just be friend now,see how it goes.".so,if there is a sage word of wisdom for me,do leave a comment below.i just need to know.by the way,if there is a guy reader of this blog,help a brother out.yeah?..so this is it for this entry.need some sleep if i can get any after 4 cups of coffee..good night.

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DIhargaiappreciate

bilamana diri tidak di hargai oleh org yg kita care,dan menghargai dia,maka it's time to get away.apa perlu nak tunggu lamak2,chowlo bete jak.x da nak harap apa2 cuma mok di hargai rasa,masa dan effort jak.org yg bila perlu jak baruk becarik,bila x perlu,bagai kulit kacang yg dilupai jak.gus sik boh TAK PAYAH.emo nya sorang tauk,emo org lain x d tauk nya..ahaha.selfish.madah dirik tek kawan,p kawan apa camya.kita jak bercarik ngn nya.nya ada?NISIK ADA!..mun kira berkawan,dah dekat nak 6  tahun dah.p balit2 kita jak yg gago nenggar masalah nya,masalah kita x mok nya dengar.nang jenis nok mok perhatian bah.sakit hati bila di polah camya.if u can't be friend with someone,don't start anything.if you are selfish,don't make friend with people.it suck to be in the giving end.give,give,give,in return not appreciate.i'm mad right now.really mad with myself for beliveing that that person already change.that,that person have get rid of the habit of selfishness.balit2 aku juak yg kenak...ya la tek,blog..bait ada juak kau pake ku luah perasaan.right now i wish for some1 in my life that would be the girl in zee avi song..huhu..

oyasumewhatupdesuuuuu....

"letting go is the easy part,but the moving on is the painful.So sometime we fight it,trying keep things the same.things can't stay the same though.at some point u just have to let go,move on.because no matter how painful it is,it's the only way we grow"-Grey's Anatomy season8 episod20...some time we learn or know something trough what we see in movies or in shows even in anime.i get where ever i can for advice.this is a good advice.then it's up to the one that seek the answer to take it or not.sometime,even a good advice is rejected coz we still can't accept the truth and believe that there is still hope,and not giving up even when there is a way out.we were told not to give up even when we have done everything in our capability.to move forward is to accept the fate that was written sejak azali lagi.for me,i've try,and fail a couple of time to move on .now i try again,not giving up,coz there is hope and a way out of this.like i said,we were told not to give up and hope.it is painful,yes it is.sometime we are tempted to return to the place/person that we let go.sometime that person is the one that give us fake hope saying the grass is greener there and not on the other side.so, i still don't give up,walk away.slow or fast,i will see the door that lead to another beginning and set us free from the past...

p/s : still trying.still going.stumble a few time,crawl a few time but still i keep on walking even when my heart is shaken by......

Tiada niat lain....

tiada niat untuk mengorat...aku suka berkawan..mungkin pujian ku kepada org itu agak melampau,tapi tiada niat utk apa2 kepada nya.happy kelaka ngn org jak.ya jak.i'm trying to be a good guy and keep my mouth at bay.but guess i still suck at it..maybe i should stop talking all together.ada sudah seorang tok yg jarang sekali nak kelaka dengan nya.masih juak x terbukak mulut tok nak kelaka ngn nya.masih juak x tauk apa2 gilak tentang nya.lebih baik begini.hope is a dangerous thing if put too high into a person.so,better not putting my hope in that person but one day when i'm ready to ask her,i'll ask her directly how i feel about her and i want her to be my wife.right now,i'm still struggling to collect enough resources in ilmu agama and duit.and if she say no,i will except it whole heartily.and if she say yes,then i will know her better trough out our marriage.and,if she is married before i'm ready,then i will accept that fact whole heartily too.saya hanya merancang,tuhan pun rancangan lebih hebat lagi.so,i put my trust in fate that allah have planed for me. :)

hati ini buat aku rasa pedap....

i really need a long and far away vacation.a really loooooooooooooog one..far away from here,far away from technology,far away where nobody can find me,far away that i can't find anybody.feels so tired.my heart feel heavy,my brain is like it got a really bad accident.my spirit is low,my morale is kaput.gunah gulana rasa diri ini.tidak menentu rasa nya,menulis entry tok pun rasa jarik ku berat dan sedih.cukup sudah sampai di sini.tdo jak la sblm layan lagu layan ada taman dalam hati..

Building a "house"

one day i will come and try.

not tomorrow,i'm still building.

when I've complete everything,

i won't know the result.

well,right now and then,

i'll put it all in the hand of Allah.

if it's meant to be,then it shall be.

if it's not,then it is not.

but not now,.i'm still building.

the time will come.it will.

satu,dua dan tiga tidak sama dari segi ejaan dan sebutan...

A girl :all man are the same...

A boy :If we man are the same,Then Why be so picky?.ehehe

A girl : ....well,gotta to see their other credential,like agama,so that he can lead me.that's why i need to choose the right one.and not get the sebarang2 guy.

A boy : so,all men are not the same,right?.same goes for women.there's not a single one of us are the same to the others.in agama,heart and looks.well,maybe there is 1 or 2 things that are in common.100%?NO.just because of 1 or 2 bad apple,rosak sepokok2 apple.ehehe.

p/s : the conversation above is not related to the one that still alive or already pass away.

Block...Brain..

right now aku rasa otak aku rasa macam nak jem..ahhaa..terlalu banyak gilak berfikir dan melihat gambar..adoi eh..heng juak akhirnya kepala ini..adoi eh..berat rasanya..huhu..i need a teacher.i need a guide...

time to say selamat tinggal..

"There is silence between us.i want it this way,coz it is time to let go.i've been holding on for so long that i'm tired of it.on this new year i choose to let go .you are a lost cause.i'm not giving up,i've tried everything in my power.now i just want to end it. i've told u before that i may let go,now is the time.well,as the saying goes,"setiap pertemuan,adanya perpisahan". :) .so,if fate have it we will meet again.maybe we will never meet again.but who knows right?it's all in the hand of Allah.i wish you all the best in life and health..thanks for including me in your life..i'll cherish the memories that we had together.so,farewell,dear friend.may u have a wonderful life ahead.you always in my heart...."

i'm done...

boring dan pedap dah dgn benda bergroup tok..ahaha..bagus aku main solo2 jak kedak dolok.bkn x mok nak berkawan,tapi ya la bila ada masalah antara ahli,nak d pelan sblh tok,kwn juak,nak sblh tok kawan juak..biuk juak rasa bila tegal org lain yg x tauk sapa nya masuk dan membuat kacau bilau.it's so stupid u know.so,sekarang i will not even want to bother with whatever happen in there anymore,i will not get any notification from the group.tenang palak ku.ahaha.merajuk?tidak,biuk yes.bosan yes.biar tidak tahu dari tahu.remain natural is not as easy as it seems.menjaga hati semua org is a mendoksei of a thing.gus ku layan game FB ajak la for now on n layan status individu2 jak dari layan post group.ahaha.. :)

P/S : Being invisible is great.no hassle no fuss.^^

heh..jujur salah,x jujur pun salah..pa la d mok?

i'm done with all.i'm done...guess gonna be gone for a while.. i need to go away fast leaving kch behind.somewhere..i'm starting to hate again.just when i thought that i got what i wanted for a long time but...meh,just gonna be gone from the social network world again...this time i'll go much more longer than last time.heh...back blogging..here i find i'm at peace..not many people know my existence here,and i don't even care to be known..ahaha...the less people tauk pasal tpt ngerepak Rusty lagik bagus.(ktk urg nok tauk ya,diam2 jak tauk.n sori mun x da komen kat blog ktk urg aaaa..)..i like it this way... :) no hustle no fuss...just me,this new post blank piece of virtual paper n a few reader..ahaha...oh,about that,i think i'm gonna remove my post that got putera will..sbb dari sia urg negara entah apa2 g ke sitok..ahaha...bodo da jak..sidak pun paham nak ka apa ku tulis ya ka..ahahaha...anyway,that's it for today.tomorrow i'll be back...ahaha...oh,one more pekara,utk yg ada add lam FB,diam2 jak aaa... :)

Dude..what Have I Done......WARGHHH!!!!!...

what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...what have i done...Oh,crap...what have i done...what have i done...

i'm a man and have a heart too...

Lelaki ini susah utk di fahami.hidup sebaik yg nya boleh.tapi di belakang tabir,ada sesuatu yg lebih dari mata ktk dapat melihat.Sedar x ktk sebalik kulit nya yg liat dan kasar ini,ada sesuatu yang ada pada orang lain iaitu nya pun ada hati juak yang boleh berkecai dan cair macam org lain.nya pun ada hati yg boleh di cintai dan mahu di cintai.lelaki ini andaikan ktk rasa apa yang d rasa nya.Dan nya akan coba sehabis baik untuk be there for ktk sbb tugas nya adalah untuk menjaga hati ktk dan berada dekat ngn ktk.nya ketepikan pride nya ,dan jadi lelaki dalam hidup ktk.tapi apa nya perlu dari ktk sekarang adalah,letakkan tangan ktk ke dada nya dan dengar lah hati nya tgh berdegup.

p/s : taken from the song by David Choi - Heart ...di alih bahasa semula oleh lelaki ini.

sugar coats - Julia Nunes..

it'd be easy to sit here and wallow in hell
Or I could suck it up, get over myself
You see, all hearts are broken
It's no big deal, I've been hurt
But I'm sure you all know how that feels
We all go through it
So why do we do it again?
Is it even worth the awkward anger of trying to be friends?
I don't know, should I care?
Well do you? Are you there?

(This year will swallow me whole)
It's taking its toll
(Queen of horses mad with power, heads will roll)
(So tenderly, you bleed me dry, and I)

I collapse to the floor

It doesn't get easier
(That should be me)
It doesn't get easier
I'm dying to leave

I've been feeling surprisingly lonely these days
I guess substitutes have an aftertaste
And I hate you for making me feel I could easily be replaced

(They say that the coffin can't confine the soul)
(I'm burying secrets you should've told)
(Well safe or ? )
(This is only a goal you want to achieve so you can be alone)

We've yelled, we've lied (I want you to)
And blatantly tried to hurt (Stop hurting me)
The other one, that's not fair (I want you to)
But truthfully, I don't care (Stop hurting me)

You cried and apologized (These thoughts that consume me)
I won't sympathize with you (And drive away the worry)
You're wrong, so wrong (These thoughts consume me)
And you know it, you do (You won't miss a single thing)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

It doesn't get easier
(Try not to scream)
It doesn't get easier
I'm fighting daydreams

(So I guess it's over, is it time to move on?)
(Winter was always my least favorite season)
(Should I give up, is it too late to be saved)
(Am I forever frozen in this lonely grave?)

So if I agree, I'm not trying to be mean
It's just cold hard facts
Spare me your sugar coats
Well I could've kept you warmer than that

WHATTTT????

surprise surprise... I'm totally out of sync right now..mind and heart..MENNNNAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR??????....

Raya Pic Not Much This Raya...haha

ini cerita sedih...ini cerita pilu...ini cerita aku...bukan cerita hantu..bukan cerita lalu..dalam cerita ini ada awek yg d kenal aku..tempat kejadian?.kedai yg ada badut pakai kasut merah..apa yg sedih nya?apa yg pilu nya?..2 tengah malam dolok,aku ngn kawan ku nak makan..bila sampe sia,kenak sambut oleh si badut berkasut merah,sambil senyum dgn riang.berbaris la kawan ku,sambil aku mereserve tpt duduk d luar..sambil ku melayan game mini Gore,mata ku menyelepat mandang org lalu lalang.ada yg berbaju jarang,ada nyg berbaju "mampat".berbaju melayu ngn berbaju kurung boleh padah majoriti.mcm rumah terbuka kedei si badut ya.mmg untung badut ya bulan tok.dari pagi sampe ke tengah malam urg meli buger nya.tedah si tua berambut putih,x berapa gilak sambutan rmh terbuka d kedei nya..2 batang rokok abis ku isap sambil menunggu kwn ku oder,3 bijik lozenge strepsil abis ku kulum..bila kwn ku sampai ngn brg makan,tertoleh la aku seorang awek tok,yg ku kenal yg ku tauk n yg ku admire.dah ku kompes ngn abg nya ku suka adik nya.kwn2 ku lain nang tauk aku suk ngn nya.tok part sedih n piluk nya..ku toleh ku nya sambil senyum kontrol macho ku berik ku ngn nya,dgn tolehan ke arah lain dgn kelajuan paling maximum ngalahkan gaban masang spender nya,awek ya noleh tpt lain.ok,aku terimak mungkin nya x nampak aku senyum kat nya,tapi part tok lagik sedih dan piluk,siap nya duduk berdepan ngn aku yg cuma di batasi oleh sekeping cermin perflex dan cobaan aku senyum ternyata di handali oleh kepakarannya menoleh dgn kelajuan maximum lagik..haha..betapa bodo nya aku rasa senyum ngn cermin perflex ya.boleh nya duduk berdepan bukan membelakangi aku ya tuan2 dan puan2,x noleh ke arah aku walau sesaat pun selama 1500 saat nya duduk sia dgn kawan nya..haha..sungguh hina terasa diri ini.. bagaikan ada sebatang tombak ditengah dada ku dibuat nya..have i done something to her that i deserve to be treated like an invisible man?i think not..maybe she got no mood?i don't know..then i started to realize something.."maybe this is a way for someone that u like,don't like u would act."..25 minit lekak ya,nya angkat dgn kwn2 nya,n sekali lagi kehandalan nya berjalan mengalahkan aku menyelit dgn moto merah ku di jalan raya sampe x nampak nya aku sedang melambai nya..haha..mun tangan ku ada muka,memang malu tangan ku ya sepertimana malunya tuan nya pun..my conclusion is,awek ya lebih laju dan ganas lagi dari GABAN...

p/s : gambar tok pat madah camne rupa aku malam ya..

let's talk Rm.3.00...

ngn 3 ringit pa pat beli?leh beli buger 2 egek,leh beli keropok lekor sebatang setengah,ngn rokok rave sebungkus utk paru2 yg semakin hitam.tapi,dgn 3 ringgit juak,leh beli,sebakol french fries..walaupun pernah nak d ban kan oleh Pm najib tgl kenak anok urg francis.tapi ya la eran juak aku,brg nait rega gila2 ka? sampe camtok jak rupa french fries nok rega rm3.00..sik ku mulak,nang bnyak tok jak fries ya...tok nang gik hot-hot lom sentuh nya dah kurang..bakol jak BESAR isik sejemput jak..

tok la kiraan aku pasal sidak ya,bakol sewa pake enkah fries ya,50 sen,tisu lapit,50 sen,sos ngn mayonis,50 sen,kakya fries nya sebenarnya rm 1.50 sen jak lam ya...sa ku ya da jak 50 sen jak fries ya,lebih seringgit ya,upah pelayan bejalan anta fries ya...

so,tuan2 dan puan2,mun rasa nak oder fries kat area gerai baru d boyan ya,boh la..beli jak kat jentayu sia,bnyak gik... mun sik pun,goreng dirik pun dari rumah,beli sos ngn mayonis jak kat sia..haha..

p/s : upgrade-upgrade kede,tapi boh la upgrade rega sik setimpal ngn brg makan....